Day 15

So today was an ok day. I had this like drudged experience earlier in the day where it was like I was in this gauntlet of shit. I didn’t get out of it until I went across the street to the gas station to eat something and had a Frappuccino. For some reason the Frappuccinos have been helping lately.  Yeah it was like I was in this drudgery. Then later on at my other job I was feeling good and everything. Then whenever I was getting into my car to make a delivery I witnessed a father do the whole ‘don’t ever go outside by yourself again!’ thing clearly instilling fear into her about going outside by herself. Within me I wanted to yell ‘hey take it easy’ before his outburst but I didn’t do it out of fear that he may react to me or get pissed off at me. Because in that moment I had a feeling of what was coming and the consequences that may have on such a young child. But I didn’t do anything out of fear that he may react or that I would hear from my boss ‘don’t tell people how to raise their kids’. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of acting in a way that is best in a moment out of fear of the consequences of such a moment or movement or action. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of acting in a way that is best that would also give me a sense of self-respect and self-preservation.