I notice that I suppress a lot when it comes to interactions
with women especially and also just generally interactions with people. This
holds most prominence when it comes to my interactions and encounters with
women. As I noticed that back before I went into a relationship I was finally
breaking free from this pattern of ‘being afraid to talk to women’ and then as
a sort of byproduct I chose the first person that was really interested in me
to go into a relationship. Which I did not know and did not expect that doing
so would end up compromising myself because in the attempt to maintain the
relationship I suppressed almost any and all interactions and potential sexual
encounters and/or relationships with any other women.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
suppress my interactions and dealings with women and people in general.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
suppress my sexuality and sexual expression with women.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
suppress my ‘seeking out’ of women.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
suppress my sexuality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
suppress who I am in my relationships and dealings with people.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
suppress my relations with women.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of doing what I need to
do in self-honesty for myself and all as myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe that in order to be fulfilled and to be happy that I must enter a
relationship and suppress all my desires for other women or my desire for a
more perfect woman or desire to fuck a random woman that wants to fuck me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe that I must be in a relationship in order to be fulfilled mentally,
emotionally, and physically disregarding the evidence that if this relationship
is not in the image and likeness of totally devoting ourselves to each other in
every way then I will not be fulfilled.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
suppress my desire for a beautiful woman with the perfect features mentally,
emotionally, and physically because ‘its not possible’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe that I must be in relationship in order to be fulfilled emotionally,
physically, and mentally.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
suppress my desires for women.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
believe that I must be in a relationship with someone in order to have sex with
them.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
expect a certain outcome when it comes to women and relationships.
I commit myself to express myself sexually openly and freely
without worrying about the dynamics of relationship/marriage and whether it is ‘ok’
or ‘not ok’.
I commit myself to stop suppressing my interactions with
women.
I commit myself to seek out what I resist and have
resistance towards doing and/or resistance towards acting in a moment as that
indicates what my program does not want in order to keep me enslaved.
I commit myself to talk to women and express myself openly
with women.
I commit myself to stop expectations of any particular
outcome with women and just live and be.
