Day 262

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deny myself the possibility of a real life with real people that support me and I them.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed the fear of doing the wrong things and making the wrong decisions in life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of making a committment towards myself and another together as that which is rpoted and founded upon what is best for all life in equality and oneness.

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to take chances according to that which may possibly be that which is best for all life and may be evidently so.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed the fear of being trapped in a system of greed and self interest.

I forgive myself that i have not accepted and allowed myself to acknowledge and give creedance to the principle of that which is best for ALL life.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to get trapped in games of power struggles with my close personal relationships including and especially my intimate ones.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deny my responsibility to my loved ones, their futures, and their well beings.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to deny my responsibility to myself and those around me to support myaelf through working in a job not matter how large or small as the effort to take responsibility even small ones accumulate self respect and therefore self confidence which leads to more opportunities and avenues to further take on more responsibility and to be able to provide more over time with less effort.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to resist points of physical labor using the excuse that it doesnt pay well enough for me to give my life to.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed over the possibilities of more money yet resist and fear who i would become within the point of sales and my potential deficits of skills within that point yet still having to retain or even in some cases inflate the confidence needed to succeed in the art while sticking with it through the difficult times as that is how any point of labor eventually pays off.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear and resist the point of sales through creating mental projections embodying deficits in my abilities and physical displays of my fear doubts unskilled behaviors.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed the fear doubt and paranoia surrounding drug use.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel shame and guilt and self judgment for having sex outside of traditional marriage.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty and shameful for having sex.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for who i am in a sexual relationship using our personality differences our age difference and our looks as excuses to not walk it in utmost self honesty.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to fear how others perceive our relationship and fear that they would judge me or her in some type of way for it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed the fear of the consequences for my actions including partaking in drugs and alcohol.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to seek out experiences through drugs in the perpetual attempt to cope, express myself differently, and break the usual mold.