Day 260

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to cling to drugs as my outlet instead of something that is best for all and actually self honest.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed the fear of what will happen to me if i dont get out and take the very first available job or most promising job offer.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed the fear of the uncertainty that couples with desteni and the dynamics of the group and fear where i fit in.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed the fear of making contact with members of desteni.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed the fear of changing the group dynamics to that which is actually best for all.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed past excuses and mental dialogues to keep me from doing what is best for all within desteni.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto past wrongs and hurts to keep me from expressing myself with desteni in ways that are best for all, creating projections of what it could be if i just did it, lingering in my head this state of complacency and numbness with my mental excuses.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to only really desire sex with members of Desteni and then to use the excuse that its already too late for most of the females, to keep me complacent and doing nothing.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to resist delving into desteni whether its listening to an interview, supporting those on social media, or making personal contact with someone even whenever i am inspired to do so in a moment.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to bombard myself with excuses, projections, memories, justifications that keep me from truly expressing my greatest potential with desteni, especially desteni females where the potential of the future lies.