Day 46

Today has been extremely difficult. Sometimes its so difficult I don't know what to do with myself. Whether to destroy everything in my life so that I can start over or not. If I destroyed everything I'd have nothing and would end up probably on the streets or would end up going back to family support which would be just as good as dying. I saw that I haven't posted a blog in a whole week. That probably has a lot to do with how I have felt today. All of my time has been occupied by work and when its not work its occupied by spending time with my girlfriend. We say we are in an agreement but she doesn't live with me so I don't think it is actually. Its actually been quite a nightmare with her so far. I need to refocus my life on writing and blogging more. I need to write a blog everyday.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am miserable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as miserable.

I'm so miserable its not even funny. I'm at a loss of what to do at this point.