One of my biggest 'problems' right now in my world and my life is the confusion about what is best for all within my intimate/sexual relationships. The reason is that they have not been what is best for all and really for the most part made me miserable when it comes to women as it pertains to my self-image largely based on my relationships to females and my self image largely defined within the context of how my relationships to females are conducted along with the aspect of 'does she fulfill my desire or not' kind of thing -pertaining to body image, personality, her positive traits, and her level of desire and attention towards me (backed by real action and movement in the form of attempts to communicate and create intimacy). All of these these have a huge impact or 'have weight' when it comes to my overall self image and well being. Since the 'context', 'the desire', and the 'reciprocity(reciprocal efforts) hasn't been there as far as my past relationships but yet the 'idea' of 'a relationship' 'still existing' even thought it didn't meet the requirements - and the other party manipulated me using emotional abuse to stay with her - it has been very stressful, has led to alot of self-suppression with regards to females as the attempts to 'pursue', 'seek out', and 'meet' were all suppressed because "I'm in a relationship" - but yet while this "relationship" was 'not satisfying me'. The self suppression coupled with a lack of the 3 things in terms of the 'context', 'the desire for an image', and the 'reciprocity' within the relationship has been really terrible and has not really in any way truly benefited my own development of my self-potential - only benefited the 'self-potential' within the framework of the relationship lacking the 3 things in the hopes that maybe in the future it would not be lacking the 3 things (in this case context changed to 'living together' and 'more solid foundation of 'what it takes to live the words of this agreement' - 'desire for an image' - as hoping she would lose weight for me and be more 'attractive' - and the reciprocity changing to 'becoming closer and more willing to explore each other an expression of each one's commitment to actually making it a beneficial/practical relationship and not just maintaining the 'status quo' of 'maintaining the relationship' - without realistically practically doing everything necessary to satisfy both parties mutually and within that the 'living' of an 'agreement - both actually thriving off of each other in ways that allows one another to expand and develop their potential and themselves as a whole in ways that they've never experienced before - representing the unknown of themselves within the context of tapping into one's untapped potential - that potential not necessarily 'seen', 'expected', or even 'quantifiable' as it being the mystery of 'self-expression stepping forth' - as that cannot be seen or experienced through the mind - as the essence of self-expression HERE actually not existing within the context/framework of the mind at all - within this the party's realize that not only is the mind and habitual participation within it the easy destruction of the agreement - but that to participate in the context/framework of the mind from a point of unawareness like 'not even knowing you're being directed by your thoughts and emotions' and allowing that to affect the effective application of the agreement - disallows the 'mysterious' 'unfolding' of one's expression within 'stepping outside of the mind' - where one's expression can only be here as oneself and cannot be experienced, expressed, imagined, or quantified through the mechanics of the mind - and within the context of realizing that 'outside of the mind' is where 'true effectiveness lives' and 'real expression takes place' within that understanding - another agreement ensues where both parties join together to stop the mind and within their stopping of the mind come to know and understand how the mind actually functions - within that - tapping into one's self-expression with the support of another tapping into their own self-expression - thereby creating the most fulfilling, most desireable, and the most powerful relationship one or two or three could concievably create - within this obviously the 'how to' with 'self-honesty' and 'common sense' must be utilized in order for all to be 'on the same page' as far as 'how' this sort of relationship is created and 'what it takes out of each one individually and collectively in order for the words of the agreement to be fulfilled'. Within that framework knowing that 'its not going to be easy' and that 'there is going to be resistance' - but within that knowledge - empowering each other and one's self with the ability to use discernment when it comes to the 'challenges' and within this 'discernment' the greatest tool to assist with the proper alignments according to the overall goal being the gauge or tool of 'self-honesty'. The 'discernment' being the 'deciphering' or 'awareness' of when and as the 'mind is stepping in' and or awareness of when 'a challenge or system is being activated here' - within this discernment existing within one's self the inherent ability to be objective and 'discern' 'what this means? what this represents? what are the outflows? what are the consequences?' knowing that if one is going to utilize their discernment they must basically be on board with the concept/idea and have the desire to actually live the words self-honesty - meaning they are actually intially discerning that 'self-honesty' is 'relevant' with regards 'fulfilling one's potential' and a word or phrase that one aspires to be and lives as one with oneself. Within the the goal to 'be self honest' and 'develop self honesty' and 'live self honesty as an expression of who I am' - the power of discernment steps forth as a tool of objectivity as to whether one 'is actually getting it' and 'is actually living it' - this tool effectively making the tasks and challenges posed as actual gifts to further expanding one's individual expression/potential and as a result expanding the group's potential - and further solidifying the group's ability to walk the actual steps in order to be effective instead of pretending or half assing the attempt towards the overall goal. Realizing that within walking the steps 'to be effective' towards achieving the overall goal of 'creating a lasting a beneficial agreement' is in fact 'what it takes' 'to achieve the goal' - each action taken towards 'walking the steps more effectively' individually and collectively - accumulates and multiplies - making each individually and collectively stronger and more likely to be able to use the 'discernment' necessary to face more challenges with more specificity and effectiveness - as the level of challenges and the difficulty within these challenges will 'increase' to meet the level of skill developed or used to 'face' 'the last challenge with 'specificity'. That is essentially my understanding of how an 'effective agreement' 'takes place' or 'is walked' as it pertains to the further development of the process of being honest with one's self and uncovering one's untapped potential and mysterious expression HERE as the physical body - that expression unknown and inconcievable by the mind but can only HERE as one's BREATH. And within this mysterious unfolding of one's expression - within it is a sort of orchestra of beings in complete and total unison - the unfolding of one's expression actually revealing the 'nature' of 'equality and oneness' where only in one's unfolding of one's expression - that which is unquantifiable - can see, realize, and understand common truths and principles underlying and guiding existence as 'movement'. Basically unfolding your expression is not 'explainable', 'quantifiable', or 'mappable' - it simply is already here and 'reveals itself as you'.
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