I feel shitty tonight.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of living alone and being alone.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of being without someone to hold, have sex with, and sleep with.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of not having a life anymore.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of my pre-programmed design that which will keep me trapped and enslaved to consciousness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of my consciousness pre-programming.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of going out and meeting women at bars/clubs.
Tonight there is this drive to 'do something' within me. And I'm not sure exactly what it is I should be doing or want to be doing or doing 'this' would self-honest. I don't really know when I'm being self-honest or not. All I really have is breathing and writing. Its the only two things that I have that keep me stable and ok. Without thos two things or these two things I'm not sure where I would be. And then I see that I have this writing and that I could share it online and within that 'emerges' a sort of 'purpose'.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of living alone and being alone.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of being without someone to hold, have sex with, and sleep with.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of not having a life anymore.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of my pre-programmed design that which will keep me trapped and enslaved to consciousness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of my consciousness pre-programming.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of going out and meeting women at bars/clubs.
Tonight there is this drive to 'do something' within me. And I'm not sure exactly what it is I should be doing or want to be doing or doing 'this' would self-honest. I don't really know when I'm being self-honest or not. All I really have is breathing and writing. Its the only two things that I have that keep me stable and ok. Without thos two things or these two things I'm not sure where I would be. And then I see that I have this writing and that I could share it online and within that 'emerges' a sort of 'purpose'.
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