Day 24

Today I am going to apply to the New Smyrna Chevy dealership for a salesman job. I’m going to sell myself as someone who is going to sell more cars than they ever dreamed. Then I’m going to go to Ford Mullinax and apply for a sales job as well selling myself as someone who is going to sell more cars than they ever dreamed.

Right now I’m experiencing a lot of fear and dishonesty with regards to going and applying for these two jobs. I know I can do the jobs. But the fear that I’m not good enough and all that stuff is arising within me. I’m experiencing a lot of anxiety with regards to just going there and applying for a sales job. Within this a lot of projections came up of being denied and all sorts of emotional things. But I just don’t know until I give it a shot. Then In my mind I’m coming up with all the reasons I can’t work there and what not so that I will give up and not even try. Then that is coupled with fear to provide the necessary energy so that I will not try and just give up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear that I’m not good enough to sell cars and that the dealerships will not hire me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear that I don’t have the skills and the personality to be a car salesman.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear that I will never escape my fate as a poor person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear that I will never be able to provide myself with an income that is justifiably efficient and sufficient.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear that I will not be able to do the sales jobs at the car dealerships.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

I’m so petrified to go there and apply for the sales job its ridiculous. Mostly because I’m embarrassed of what I’m wearing.

After changing my clothes I wasn’t so fearful so I went ahead and applied for sales jobs at Ford Mullinax and the Chevy dealership. I went to sleep at the Quick Lane service place and after I got through with all that that entailed I was much more relaxed and not so fearful filled with darkness and incessant thoughts.