Friday, November 11, 2016

Day 121 - Shame

I feel boundless shame for what I have done to the desteni group. I feel like I have not given it my all 100% to bring about what is best for all life. And for this I am shameful. Yes there is / are many obstacles in my way in the form of money, location, family, friends, etc. But the boundless shame is more powerful than those obstacles. I yearn for the connection to the desteni group. I yearn for being an integral part of their community. I yearn to go to the farm, start an agreement with a suitable woman, and grow into a forest of life exploring myself in intimacy truly getting to know myself as my true expression - a super gentle, kind, caring, supportive being that yearns for self - intimacy - yearns for exploring the body - really delving into this intimacy. I can feel it. Its there. I know my true expression lies with a woman who is receptive and also yearns for this too and can feel my true nature. This woman wants to explore her true nature, beingness, and expression too and can feel that I am the perfect compliment - the perfect person to find her self-intimacy and self-love. 

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