Back home. No power. No electricity. Feel like shit and feel like a fool for thinking that S would be a good agreement partner or a potential agreement partner. I mean we have amazing sex but shes going to see another guy tonight so I mean thats like not what I had in mind for an agreement but shes been doing that style of relationship with the father of her son for going on two years now. I feel stupid. Very stupid.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of catching HIV/AIDS.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of catching another incurable STD.
Right now I feel real shitty and kind of calm at the same time. The energy in my head is the darkness that I experience/exhibit. Then there is the physical which is the fruit, the lamb, the comfort, the almighty, the soothingness. I can clearly see/discern that the physical is what is here and the mind as the energy in the head is not. Completely indiscernable in reality. The energy in the head dissipates when the mind stops and the physical is left to rest without constantly being bombarded by the mind as energy. The mind is complete separation from the physical as what is here. The mind as energy is indiscernable in reality. All one can see are the visible outflows/situations/abuse of the physical as the mind tries to understand reality - when in fact the mind is not in reality in anyway whatsoever. It is just a reflection of reality. So the mind as the system is busy conjuring images so that the real physical is bombarded with the reflection and thus the body becomes completely possessed by the images/the mind. Thus leaving the being occupying the body incapacitated by the bombardment of images thus as well or 'as' completely possessed. This is the nature of the mind as energy as it relates to reality which is the physical.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of catching HIV/AIDS.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of catching another incurable STD.
Right now I feel real shitty and kind of calm at the same time. The energy in my head is the darkness that I experience/exhibit. Then there is the physical which is the fruit, the lamb, the comfort, the almighty, the soothingness. I can clearly see/discern that the physical is what is here and the mind as the energy in the head is not. Completely indiscernable in reality. The energy in the head dissipates when the mind stops and the physical is left to rest without constantly being bombarded by the mind as energy. The mind is complete separation from the physical as what is here. The mind as energy is indiscernable in reality. All one can see are the visible outflows/situations/abuse of the physical as the mind tries to understand reality - when in fact the mind is not in reality in anyway whatsoever. It is just a reflection of reality. So the mind as the system is busy conjuring images so that the real physical is bombarded with the reflection and thus the body becomes completely possessed by the images/the mind. Thus leaving the being occupying the body incapacitated by the bombardment of images thus as well or 'as' completely possessed. This is the nature of the mind as energy as it relates to reality which is the physical.
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