Day 176

This evening I had this experience after I got off work - where one instance of 'uncertainty' sort of spiraled me into many different points of uncertainty. So the initial point was 'should I spend $5 and let the automatic car wash wash my car or should I spend $3 and do it myself. I decided to do the $5 automatic wash and afterwards I was just barraged with uncertainty on many different points. Several of the points were related to 'should I go to the bar' ' should I just drive uber and make some money' 'should I text L and get some D's' 'should I go so J in Deland'. And then after several of those points were going through my head I finally got stuck on one where I was battling going to the bar in New Smyrna. I was already a couple of miles in the other direction and was about to turn at a point to go back - didn't then turned at the next point - and immediately after turning at that point I immediately felt uncertain about going back because I had already gone so far. So then I just decided to go back home and maybe go out downtown in Daytona. I did some self-forgiveness on some of these points mainly about uncertainty, decisiveness, and assertiveness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live and breath uncertainty within everything that I do and participate in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be uncertain about every little thing that I do in this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be uncertain about my actions concerning going out and drinking vs. my actions involving going home and doing d's vs. going home and just writing vs. going home and just driving for uber.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed of form of decisiveness, assertiveness, and certainty to form as a part of me.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to live and breath decisiveness, assertiveness, and certainty.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be confident within myself about what I need to do, what I should do, and what is best for all within assisting and supporting myself within this stage or phase within my process.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to trust myself enough to know when I am being self-honest and when I am not - and acting within and as emotional energy - and/or a picture presenation of myself rather than on the self-honesty of knowing who I am.


I commit myself to live and breathe certainty, decisiveness, and assertiveness as an expression of me as who I am here.

I commit myself to develop the self-trust to know and be certain about what is best and doing what is best.

I commit myself to trust myself to know and do what is best for all life.