I recently started having back pain that I used to have all the time about 7 years ago. Its back and now its like worse or just as bad as before. Which sucks because I do physical work that requires me to bend and stoop almost constantly and today it is really bad. Its got me worried because I don't know if I can keep up with this work with this pain all the time. I feel like I would have to start taking something for the pain to deal with it on a regular basis. I can't believe I have to deal with this sort of thing. I don't exactly know what I'm going to do about this pain.
Writing really helps me sort out things in my head. It somehow helps me sort through all the bullshit that is inside of me including all the fear. Tonight it really helped me because I felt so dead inside after working all day like I had nothing left to give and had no hope for the future. It sort of gets me back on track and focused on going in the direction that I want to go. And gets me back focused on the things that get me going and excited about life.
I'm really tired of my life and existence not having enough money to support myself - to be on my own and have my own life and do what I want. Tired of living with my mom. Tired of relying on family for anything.
Writing really helps me sort out things in my head. It somehow helps me sort through all the bullshit that is inside of me including all the fear. Tonight it really helped me because I felt so dead inside after working all day like I had nothing left to give and had no hope for the future. It sort of gets me back on track and focused on going in the direction that I want to go. And gets me back focused on the things that get me going and excited about life.
I'm really tired of my life and existence not having enough money to support myself - to be on my own and have my own life and do what I want. Tired of living with my mom. Tired of relying on family for anything.
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