Day 207

Today was interesting. I felt pretty sick and weak generally for most of the day. So I finally decided to go to the doctor to see if I could get this cyst/bite treated. It seems that it has gotten much bigger since yesterday and has become quite painful to the slightest touch and/or from movement local to the site. Whenever I was in the hospital I started to get angry towards the fact that I had gone and that they had not done what I wanted and expected them to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get angry with myself and others when my expectations do not match up to the reality and/or decisions of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of the consequences for following the guidelines and procedures of western medicine.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of accepting and alloweing the idea that western medicine can be good or make sense at times.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of accepting western medicine's practices will compromise my body's health and integrity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear that western medicine is only designed to make us sicker through suppression instead of real treatment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear that western medicine is purely evil and participating within it will have disastrous consequences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that western medicine is designed to heal rather than just treat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear that western medicine and following its procedures for common things will weaken my immune system and eventually I will be too weak to fight off diseases or infections.