Day 228

I haven't posted a blog in what seems,like quite a while,so I figured I would do this to support myself. I think I get distracted with all the emotions, conflicts, and stresses of life and start feeling like things are not working for me. Which is usually whenever I start to fall off on writing blogs even when it actually may be the falling off on writing blogs that is the cause for feeling so down, depressed, worried, anxious, fearful, and generally just becoming numb to life itself. I mean I already know that I feel better, am better, and have much more of a sense of well being whenever I write my blogs. It gives me a renewed feeling of purpose that gives me life and keeps me going towards the mystery of life. I think one of the reasons I become discouraged at times about writing my blogs consistently is that sometimes I don't like who I am within them, feeling like I'm writing from ego as this big know it all personality. Amd when I feel like thats who I am in the blogs I write I feel discouraged about writing them because thats not who I want to be or to live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for who I am within moments of my life as a result of decisions I make that are not what is best for all and thus I judge myself for it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for who I am within my blogs and what my words reveal as who I am within life as the words that I am living in separation from me as separation from that which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny and or forget about my purpose in this life as doing that which is best for all which includes writing blogs daily cataloging my process of self honesty and self forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realise and understand the importance of cataloging my process within a blog as the evidence that I am taking self responsibility for me and my creation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the process of others and their self honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear leaving others or ending a relationship in a way that is mutually considerate and respectful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the fear and worries of others.

I commit myself to remind myself the relevance and importance for my sake and mine only that I write my blog cataloging my process and commitment to correction as that which is best for all because it is a crucial part of my purpose on earth that I leave a verifiable record of care.