Day 231

Today has been really hectic and a real draining experience. Like the quintessential 'weight of energy' type of experience for a good part of the day. Which started after going to a store to buy a particular item and then leaving without it because of a mistake my,partner made which I reacted towards her in the expectation that she would get angry and I would have to witness yet another hissy fit for her own misdoing so I jumped the gun and immediately pointed out that it was her fault in the expectation that I would have to deal with a sore attitude from her as if it had anything to do with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place blame onto my partner for things she does wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to put up with a shorty attitude from a woman ever.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have to attack someome before they attack me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am god.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to beleive that I am Jesus.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to post emotional things on social media in attempts to gain some sort of attention or copy other attention seeking behavior from others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be very careless about what I post onto facebook.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to post things onto facebook and social media very carefully as to not include emotional bullshit.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realise and understand that what I post onto facebook does have an impact on what I manifest into my day to day life with real consequences.

Day 229

Today I wanted to come here to reaffirm my commitment to writing my blog as a means for self support. I notice that one of the things that stops me at times is feeling like I can't say my forgiveness out loud in front of my partner because it feels awkward sometimes and id rather be alone when doing it since this process is about me and me alone. But nevertheless I need to write one regardless of things that are 'stopping me' such as 'other people' which is not true and just an excuse from my mind trying to keep me enslaved to its power instead of asserting my power.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought my partner is keeping me from writing blogs because I don't feel comfortable saying my forgiveness out loud in her presence'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought my girlfriend is keeping me from me expanding myself because shes not doing self forgiveness out loud in front of me and therefore I dont feel comfortable doing it out loud in front of her.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed the thought I have to say my forgiveness out loud in front of her or else it is not real and I might as well not do it at all if I can't do it in her presence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought I can't do my process living with somebody who is not doing process also.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought I can't do process if it doesnt look like what I want it to look like.

I commit myself to continue writing my blog and doing my process regardless of what others do think or say because at the end of the day or beginning I know that it helps me.

I commit myself to walk through all excuses that I can derive from my mind as reasons to not do the things that help me.

I commit myself to integrate my pocess and change onto my blog as a simplified and easier method to accomplish my goal of being more consistent and reaping the effects and rewards from uploading my process onto the global mind which is the internet.

I commit myself to not allow people to abuse me and therefore discourage my application.

I commit myself to take my power back and if need be abuse those that abuse me whenever I know that what I stand as and for is what is best for all - and realise that I can only be confident of this whenever I am being consistent in my application.

Day 228

I haven't posted a blog in what seems,like quite a while,so I figured I would do this to support myself. I think I get distracted with all the emotions, conflicts, and stresses of life and start feeling like things are not working for me. Which is usually whenever I start to fall off on writing blogs even when it actually may be the falling off on writing blogs that is the cause for feeling so down, depressed, worried, anxious, fearful, and generally just becoming numb to life itself. I mean I already know that I feel better, am better, and have much more of a sense of well being whenever I write my blogs. It gives me a renewed feeling of purpose that gives me life and keeps me going towards the mystery of life. I think one of the reasons I become discouraged at times about writing my blogs consistently is that sometimes I don't like who I am within them, feeling like I'm writing from ego as this big know it all personality. Amd when I feel like thats who I am in the blogs I write I feel discouraged about writing them because thats not who I want to be or to live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for who I am within moments of my life as a result of decisions I make that are not what is best for all and thus I judge myself for it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for who I am within my blogs and what my words reveal as who I am within life as the words that I am living in separation from me as separation from that which is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny and or forget about my purpose in this life as doing that which is best for all which includes writing blogs daily cataloging my process of self honesty and self forgiveness.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see realise and understand the importance of cataloging my process within a blog as the evidence that I am taking self responsibility for me and my creation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the process of others and their self honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear leaving others or ending a relationship in a way that is mutually considerate and respectful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the fear and worries of others.

I commit myself to remind myself the relevance and importance for my sake and mine only that I write my blog cataloging my process and commitment to correction as that which is best for all because it is a crucial part of my purpose on earth that I leave a verifiable record of care.