Day 186 - 21 DAY Committment To Self-Change, Self-Correction, and Self-Application

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to do drugs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel weak and powerless when it comes to drugs and the continuous pattern of doing drugs based on the intial impulse and/or sudden arisen desire. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the sudden arisen desire to take drugs for a pick me up or even to froget, suppress, or escape from issues in my life due to a lack of self-committment, will, and fortitude to dedicate my life to self-correction, self-change through self-forgiveness and self-commitments. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of doing the wrong thing or making the wrong decision. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of losing my life and the comfort that comes with it. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of losing the creature comforts that I have in my life and have accrued. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of getting fired from my job by my manager because of the potential or possibility that I am not good enough to work at my job for an extended period of time. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear that my coworkers will or do resent me because I reported their abuse to management. 

I commit myself to create my life and direct all of my relationships to what is best for all. 

I commit myself to write self-forgiveness and self-committments daily for 21 days from this point forward of this writing to see and realize the benefits and the positives of doing so while also transferring my self-forgiveness and self-committment statements to my blog to see the effects and benefits of posting this particular material online to upload my change to the unconscious mind and see how I change as a result. 

I committ myself to the process of self-change through writing self-forgiveness and self-committments to see how I live and embody the words of self-correction as living words in self-expression. 

I commit myself to see how I can change trhough dedicating my life to self-application, self-change, and self-correction through writing, speaking, and living self-forgiveness,, self-commitment statements, self application in real time in my immediate reality, uploading these documents online for all to see, learn, and share from. 

I commit myself to investigate the avenues and means for stopping using drugs - specifically crack cocaine and cocaine hcl. 

I commit myself to stop using crack cocaine. 

I commit myself to investigate and disect desires and/or direct them immediately through speaking or writing and speaking self-forgiveness and self-committment statements such as "when and as the desire to smoke crack rises up within me, I breathe, and I immediately tackle the desire and/or impulse through writing or speaking out loud self-forgiveness and self-committments and/or self-corrective statements to avoid and/or prevent the eventual/potential outflow of acting on the desire and using the substance whenever I have already committed myself to stop. 

Day 185 - Existence is Me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of reporting abuse so that abusers will realize they cannot get away with it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of standing on my own two feet in self-trust and self-authority in standing up to the abuse.

I am existence. Existence is me. It is my responsibility to stand up to abuse or lest I will be subject to what I accept and allow within me and others in my life. Till here no further. I aim to annihilate the self-interest existent within me that keeps me from my utmost potential - and realizing myself and my power as the living word.

Day 184

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist doing blogs even whenever I know that the results of doing a blog usually is good and the next day is usually better than the day I wrote the blog.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of doing blogs as a fear of some consequence in the form of family or friends finding the blogs - reacting to it - and/or potentially using it against me to form some kind of opinion or belief about who I am within a place a judgment - ignorance - and misunderstanding of why I do what I do and why I write what I write.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of my writings and my self-forgiveness used against me within the premise of what I am forgiving is what defines me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of family and friends reading my blogs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of people using my words against me as if whenever I write something it is the end all - be all of who I am.

Day 183

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of self diminishment and self-annihilation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of being alone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of missing out on life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of losing Lisa.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of missing out in life or believe I would be missing out in life by being with Lisa.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of committing myself to something or somebody.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of hurting Lisa or being hurt by Lisa.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of taking financial responsibility for my future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of failing in my life. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of making a mistake in my relationships.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of making a mistake with Lisa.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of not having Lisa around and with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of failing in relationships.