What am I doing ?

I know that the feelings I have are an illusion or do I? Do I know anything?

I feel like my life is minimal .

What am I doing here?!

I get so pissed off . But why?
Why am I always so pissed off?

I hate everything I experience, I disdain the feelings themselves but they feel 'good' . It feels 'good' to charge the systems in my body. I don't have a clue what is really going on, or do I? I know that the mind has created hell on earth. That's great.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed the thought ' the mind is greater than me'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought ' I don't like the mind'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought ' the mind is greater than who I am'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought ' the mind is bullshit'.

I know the mind is a system of excuses for not taking self responsibility for the world and or I guess more importantly the world as a whole?

I don't have a clue.

I am experiencing fear of going to the movies with somebody? I never planned on going to the movies with anybody well I sort of did an while back but we never went and we were not planning on it today or this weekend or anytime soon. So maybe we should go to the movies or something.

Anyways I want to let the past be the past am start anew. I want to start a new life and start really getting to know what tibia to live and get to know somebody?

I forgive myself for that I have accepted and allowed the thought I am useless.