What am I doing ?

I know that the feelings I have are an illusion or do I? Do I know anything?

I feel like my life is minimal .

What am I doing here?!

I get so pissed off . But why?
Why am I always so pissed off?

I hate everything I experience, I disdain the feelings themselves but they feel 'good' . It feels 'good' to charge the systems in my body. I don't have a clue what is really going on, or do I? I know that the mind has created hell on earth. That's great.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed the thought ' the mind is greater than me'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought ' I don't like the mind'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought ' the mind is greater than who I am'.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought ' the mind is bullshit'.

I know the mind is a system of excuses for not taking self responsibility for the world and or I guess more importantly the world as a whole?

I don't have a clue.

I am experiencing fear of going to the movies with somebody? I never planned on going to the movies with anybody well I sort of did an while back but we never went and we were not planning on it today or this weekend or anytime soon. So maybe we should go to the movies or something.

Anyways I want to let the past be the past am start anew. I want to start a new life and start really getting to know what tibia to live and get to know somebody?

I forgive myself for that I have accepted and allowed the thought I am useless.

Elitism is a form of Terrorism

When September 11 happened it 'shocked' the United States and maybe the rest of the world - or maybe the rest of the world quietly said 'they had it coming'. Regardless it happened and people were shocked they said 'how could this happen' - 'so many innocent men and women were killed - families were destroyed'.

What we don't see is how we are creating mass murder through our current system - how the haves ignore or even don't hear or know about the existence of the have nots - everybody hears that their are starving people - but we generally don't know to what extent - and we don't ask ourselves WHY.

Is capitalism really a form of benevolence that allows humans to live in a better world? If it was so great then why would anybody starve?

The comparison of elitism and terrorism is true because the haves don't do anything about the existence of have nots. Instead of just charities and small band aids to our overall disease - which is similar to how our medical system operates - band aids applied to diseases which could be prevented in the first place or truly healed - while deliberately distributing nearly worthless drugs that do not prevent but only seek to minimize the symptoms.

Notice how charity is almost like a band aid - yes it will severely impact the lives that it reaches but it doesn't have any lasting change as to the condition of poverty as a whole.

So we as the elite are applying band aids to the problems of starvation and inequality - instead of rearranging the core foundation of our system into one that is the example of what would breed and create benevolence as a living reality for all.