Self-Forgiveness

There was a moment at my apartment clubhouse where there was a girl there that I find attractive and cute and could be fun to hang out with - we didn't speak to each other and I felt guilty and bad that we didn't talk. I asked for my parking pass and they gave it to me. I felt insecure around the three and didn't feel as though i could be around them self-honestly. I felt angry for the way I interacted with them. I kept going back to this moment in my mind and all of the past associations with this girl specifically and a guy that was there as well. I experienced myself as guilty and regretful for who I have been towards these two people in the past. I experience fear with regards to speaking to this woman with regards to saying hi or whats up. I didn't like how I experienced myself afterwards as regretful, guilty, and angry. I kept on going back to these past moments with these people in my mind. I felt regretful that I wasn't self-honest enough to ask this girl if she wanted to hang out whenever I first met/saw her.

I experienced regret that I did not take the initiative to get to know this girl and find out who she is and how she lives her reality? I find myself going back when I had the thought of asking her if she would like to hang out sometime but then I physically didn't do it - and now there is sort of that regret every time I see her again. Or more so there is an awkwardness between me and her maybe because she thinks I'm cute but I have no way of knowing that unless she expresses her interest. And maybe there is fear that she won't want to hang out with me so there is that comfort of remaining the way our relationship is today(nonexistent). But its like I don't know how to express interest in her without just coming out and saying that is the truth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear talking to this girl who I think is cute.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of the desire to be in a relationship or girlfriend/boyfriend type of deal with this particular woman.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought "this girl likes me - I can tell".
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought "this girl won't go out with me - she is too cool".
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought "this girl thinks I am a nut".
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought "this girl wants to be in a relationship with me".
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought "this girl wants to be together with me".
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought "this girl wants to be my girl".
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the visual imagination of me talking to this woman in the clubhouse of my apartments.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the visual imagination of this woman and I in a relationship.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the visual imagination of this woman coming up to me or my car and talking to me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the visual imagination of this woman and I having intercourse.

I commit myself to stop these visualizations, imaginations and thoughts of having sex with this woman and or being in an intimate relationship to this woman.