Day 252 - My Self Honest Reflections Regarding Income

So as i write this i know two things are certain, regarding my income in the U.S. given the current laws and financial landscape. Income from works performed are not guaranteed as they are contingent on performing those works. And conditional sources of income provided by relatives, friends, family members, organizations, institutions, and governments are not guaranteed absolutely as you must meet such conditions as delegated by the issuer or issuers. Thus conclusively there are no guaranteed sources of income for me in this country expressly stated or implied that i am aware of.

        This is an architecture of a financial system that promotes and is founded upon the principle of leverage as the highest tenant or trait because the use of, access to, implementation of, and adherance to this principle, yields the one who does so power and control over those that do not for whatever reasons.

Within this paradigm, time is key because the manifestations of the position and therefore the fruits of having such a position only are granted after a deliberate process of pursuit, study, adherance to, amalgamation to, and assimilation to in acceptance after several years, decades, or a lifetime of doing so even while such processes of deliberation are no guarantee for attaining such fruits no matter the length or ardor of such processes.

So this brings me to the conundrum that as a self honest reality of my condition, nowhere i go, nothing i do, and nothing i say can guarantee me an income from any one person, institution, or organization in my country unless within so doing such actions could moght potentially guarantee me an income in the future, but not the present. I do have the opportunity to submit to various forms of activities that by doing so would essentially guarantee me an income but this would not be guaranteed from the perspective that such an income would require me to do something within the context of submitting to the system of leverage in some form or another. Thus requiring the submission of my will and god given right to life unconditionally to a conditional contract extracting the misfortune of my position in order to feed the higher one that is embodied assome form or someone or something that has more power and thus more leverage than me at some point along the way. Throughout the process of justification for submitting to this paradigm i begin to feel a sense of entitlement hoping that someday i may be able to yield my power and authority over another when all i used to want is a unconditional income. Wherein attaining such a position would perceivably grant me the peace and security that must come along with such a position of leverage and authority over others not to mention the money that comes with it. Submitting to the position of domination rather than submission wherein i can exert my will unto the submissive as i see fit so long as i abide by the conditions for which my position will be retained in so doing, effectively demonstrating that i on either end of the equation am not free whatsoever,  as the position which i perceived as free or the most free is still predicated on my subservience to the idea that i am greater than, the opposite of being on the other end of less than, by which all of my actions would be adjusted accordingly for to stray from such would potentiate losing it.

Day 251

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed the fear of starting on a new path to a new life even if it seems to be walking backwards at first.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed the fear of pushing through my resistances and standing up for myself once and for all.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed the fear of letting go of the past, moving on, and letting go of past hurts and tribulations.

Day 250 - Electrical Mechanical Systems

Electronics are taking over the world of engineering. We used to have mechanical engineering. Now our mechanical engineering is almost completely dictated by electrical engineering which controls every aspect of how a mechanical system will function. And now we are moving closer to having mechanical systems solely relying on electricity to function instead of just being regulated, modulated, and activated by electricity. So that would be an electrical mechanical system. This is all well and good but the problem is that the more sophisticated this becomes the more these electrical mechanical systems start to become autonomous, self sufficient, and self directive within their scope and bounds of application. The problem with that is that these systems would be able to design and build more effective systems at functioning within greater bounds and scopes than the ones that came before them and built them in the first place. The end result of this would be machines ruling machines ruling machines wherein the initial organic catalyst for this would be obsolete and only relevant so much as they would be able to help power these systems indefinitely, reduced to only a  means to power such systems, which come to function much more effectively than their organic counterparts ever could have.

Ps.

What I described was depicted in the movie called The Matrix to the utmost detail.

You've been warned...

Day 249

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel down depressed and want to give up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that talking to myself or voicing out loud my internal chatter scatter brain helps organize things in my head better than keeping it inside.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of not overcoming obstacles and challenges in my life and remaining stuck immobilized or incapacitated by such hurdles and challenges.