Day 8

Today I was at the beach with my mother and there was a beautiful girl that I wanted to talk to but I didn't have the guts. I was afraid that she would reject me or that her girlfriends would keep her from creating a connection with me and that she would judge me for being with my mom. And I was afraid to go talk to her in front of my mom.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of talking to women in public in front of my mom.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of talking to women in groups.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of talking to women in general.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of what women think of me or will think of me if they know I live with my mom.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear that women will not want me if they know I do not have alot of money and do not have a college degree and do not make alot of money.

Day 7

Yesterday was interesting. There was a moment where it was like I was really in the moment where it felt like I was like in the groove with things like I was getting things done forcefully and astutely. And within that the normal distractions or things that would normally slow me down went by the wayside. It was more like every movement was being productive and I wasnt missing steps along the way. And this is the kind of movement with myself that I want to feel and experience all the time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of living in quantum time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of living outside or inside without fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of living without fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of living from moment to moment in quantum reality.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought my life is over.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of living from moment to moment without stopping, without worrying, and without hesitations.

Day 6

So last night I was feeling good with no darkness within me and after I smoked two cigarettes and looking on facebook I went back to darkness because I was looking at who liked my latest post and one of them was a gay guy from my high school. And then I concluded that he has been contributing to the idea or image to people that I may be gay just by the fact that we are friends and he is liking my posts. And that people from my work may have gotten that idea which has contributed to this idea or rumor that i may be gay at work. So then I tried to delete him but the Internet couldn't connect at that moment so then I went inside and got really tired so I went to sleep on the couch.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of people thinking or perceiving that I am gay or bisexual.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of letting people in my life that are gay and the consequences of that.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of people thinking or perceiving that I am gay because of accepting gay people in my life and on facebook.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear of people thinking I am gay and thus abusing me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted allowed the fear of people abusing me because they think I am gay.

Day 5

I'm extremely unhappy and I don't know what I should do about it. It feels like my world is collapsing around me. I don't know what to do? What the fuck. I'm so tired of bullshit. I feel like just leaving this town and never coming back. But I don't have the money really to do that. So what should I do?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought I don't know what to do.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought I hate the world and wish everybody would die.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought I hate myself and the entire universe.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought I hate the world and wish ill upon all people.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought I hate the world and wish my coworkers would die.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought this world is bullshit and I hope that everybody suffers immensely.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought this world can suck my dick.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought if I don't make it you won't either.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought this world is going to shit really fast.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought this world can suck my balls.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought this world is full of hate.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought this world is evil.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought this world sucks the life out of me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought this world is terrible.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought this world sucks.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought this world is shitty.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought I hate this world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought this world can go straight to hell.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought this world will never realize it's true potntial